part one.

she makes me wish i could consciously slow down
the speed of which my heart is now beating.
i have not even been standing here waiting
for that long, at most it wasn't even
six minutes; but to me it appeared to have been
a lot longer, seemed to be more on the lines
of twenty-four months. our romance keeps on
being so picture perfect; it's beginning
to feel more like somebody's master plan.

Then from the distance she approaches.
She is out completely out of focus
but i'm certain it's here because
even from where i stand i notice
she isn't walking. In fact she's
floating down as if she stands
on the back of some angel wings.

She is only seconds away from being no
more than an arm's length in front of me
and i already have begun to shiver
with fright. I've never been a believer
but her eloquence is still able
to render me speechless, making me
feel silly. I'm usually immune to the
beauty of a woman; however she
is the exception to my rule.

'Hello,' is how she address's me,
and her voice still holds all the
joy I remember it had held before.

I swallow the lump that grew
in my throat and barely utter
back with my own, 'how are you?'

This reunion is simply temporary.
She tells me it will be more regularly;
but I no longer wish for an impossibility.

She takes a sip of her drink and I'm unable
to describe just how beautiful even this simple
task looks to me; because her life is a miracle.
She's a gift to the world, every time a smile
creeps across her face, a life is saved somewhere.

My eyes devour the shapes on her face,
and my ears hold in her laughter like a piece
of classical music; because for once
I will enjoy the moment i am in.
This time I won't start day dreaming
nor will I allow myself to begin
jotting down mental notes to call upon
for a poem when i get home later this evening.

My heart is heavy in my chest as the weight
of yearning to ask her the questions that
remain always on the tip of my tongue; but
I keep them to myself, for now. This ain't
the time to ask anyways; I have been carrying
them for so long, i can just wait for better timing.

This is the first in so long that we have
spent any time together; but I believe
this moment is more because of her
than me. It's her that said good-bye
to me, on sept. 4Th, my 23 birthday.

It was that day I discovered what it's like to
get sea sick from being so upset. The blue's
that she makes disappear from my the
cusp of my entire being were then to
resurface; it'd be a flash flood. No
chance of preparing myself for the after
math; because I had not seen the
end coming, to me it was completely
a surprise. Yet I am certain she knew
it'd never amount to anything more
than a summer fling right after
we shared our first kiss that was truly
passionate; but she remains to this day
the only thing that is capable of being a remedy
to my aches and pains of my previous days.

While I know it's nearly impossible to
describe her beauty, this is epically
difficult to explain when poetry
is trapped by my limited vocabulary.
If I was to memorize the dictionary,
difficulty would still be a reality;
language is limited in its inability
to adequately describe her.

Still I've tried; I've wasted more than a fair
share of my time trying to rediscover
the memory's her and I already got to share.
Pages and pages of lined book paper
ruined by my relentless obsession to
hopefully achieve the impossible, one day
all my writing will describe in great detail
how lovely she is. I know that it may
take me over a decade to write out an anthology
of poetry; but it does not overly bother me. I
hope four thousand pages could maybe
achieve my goal. I must be partially
insane; 'cos i am able to continuously
able to keep writing out these tediously
boring sonnets in hopes of freeing her from memory.