welcome to the new age

still to this day i wonder why she filled my head
with those words of promise. when we laid in bed
my sheets tied tightly around our cold bodies and
it was then i thought it was a cocoon they resembled
but now in retrospect its evident it may as well of
been a noose. the future, she told me, she promised
was ours to behold together; yet, now here i am &
the future has turned to present, but where art
thou? she's off with other men, i'm certain.
her life nothing but a cliche repeat, saying over &
over to the men, 'this time i mean these words
i say,' and i find comfort in knowing it.
in knowing she to lies to them like a black widow
waiting to mate and destroy. it's just i wonder now
what it was i did to deserve such a travesty?
her finger nails dug deep into my skin. she made vows
and i, a fool, let those words dig inside my soul,
to take hold of me in such a way no other female
ever has. but darling, why me, why did she have to
destroy everything i worked hard to hide? now again
i must return to my ways of infancy. practicing
in front of mirrors just what i'd say to her- daring
the up most use of metaphors to describe this pain
she re-awoke. but with the calender's changing
not just months but into years, this life long
dedication to discovering truth and belonging
is once again stagnated into an introspective vision
of what is life has to offer me; i'm so uncertain
that it will ever be as it was. so then i would demand
of her, why me, why did you decide i was worth the moment?
now all else fails in comparison to her touch- her everything.
each day that comes i just want to cry because since
we were lovers it appears we can never be anything
else, no returning to the friendship we had. pseudo passion
is what she gives, should have listened to that man
in high school who warned me to steer clear of her destruction.
'she isn't human,' he told me, 'she's colder than
a robot.' i smiled and said, 'so am i, my brave friend,
so am i.' yet little did i know just how deep her deviance
went. it's me who is now left alone wondering and pondering
why she chose me to destroy. never again shall i fall in
love, i promise this to anyone. before she said in conference
that she loved me, i was already broken goods, now then
since she's came and gone, i'm just completely torn
into pieces. the winds of time scatter me across infinity-
never to be reproduced, i'm just a figment of what i've been.