this could be the end

you always said you'd be my friend right to the end
but we've grown up now and that's when you vanished.
i know it's silly but i can't even confidently hit send
on the text messages i type to you; i know they go unread.

back then all we could do was pay our dues
and hope to God we don't end up like our father's.
this isn't an epilogue, that won't be complete
until our ending; not until we end up at our funeral.

i ain't got a home and they say it's cause i ain't got a heart
but please don't think that i sometimes don't feel hurt.
these things i've done and said do more than affect
just you and your ego; but please baby don't completely defect.

so we've been up and we've been down but this ain't
the end my love. no, i know it's just i shan't
be caught holding in my tears again, not this year.
no, this time it'll be different, i'll be honest, i'll be true.

hour glass body and eyes so magnificent, if you were a song
i'd sing along to the cliche words and play along
to the melodramatic chords that chime out of the piano.
these melodies i play ain't nothing but 4/4 rheo.

on days when the sky seems so black and inside so gray
i promise it will be fine, just keep painting all the
canvases you own, keep using that sky colour blue.
our youth was misspent, our choices now travesty.

however! i assure it wasn't all done in vain.
yes! we did share needles and chemical's in our veins
but! that passion must have had some truth hidden
yet! we are now so far away from one another- i am wondering...

is it cause you don't want me in your life no more?
is it cause you are still just so afraid of sobriety?
is it cause you know that you've loved me like no other?
it it cause you shouldn't care for a fuck up boy like me?