i could use someone like you

[if you can tell me who this is about you get a prize:
the sad realization that you've heard me whine
once too often; but still, i will stand
corrected if any of you followers can answer who it is in question]

i sometimes contemplate calling her
even though i know it'll go straight to
her voice mail; or worse, she'll answer
with hysterical laughter. not just hers,
she won't be alone- it'll be speaker
phone. my trembling voice will know no
octave other than a dying cat pleading
at the moon for a master to come along
and give it one good meal, one good song.
she'll tell her boyfriend on me, he'll find
me strung out behind no frills on a picnic
bench- kicking the mud around into piles
that remind me of her skin complexion, the colour
so beige it may as well have been fiction.
she laughed and delighted me in every situation
we faced. with her in my corner i was convinced
there was nothing i couldn't over come, nothing
that wasn't trivial in comparison because in
this dim light, in this slow paced life of mine
i had found someone who truly understood the nature
of my demise; however the silence inside my mind
now haunts me. the way my hand rested on
the cuff of your breast, feeling your heart beating
in rhythm to the breath you exasperate as you lean
towards me, trying to kiss me on the lips, the chin,
anywhere you can get your greedy little pink
lips to touch. you told me you loved me, i think
i believed it. that time i was still so innocent,
once again stripped of my carefully built defenses.
fresh out of detox, fresh into the world of romance
and you knew in the back of your head, in your mind
just how long or how short of a time this fling
would last, how long we'd sizzle into a fond-found
memory. tic-for-tact, she said, i'm alone
now and i guess it's my own fault, my own damnation.
'pride before the fall,' she said. listening
is what i should have been doing cause every sentence
she spoke hinted to the future we wouldn't inherit.
in my defense, however, i was caught up in the permanent.
it was pressing on me like weight to a mason,
that this was too perfect- a teenage angst romance
not quite out of grip for me, one last chance
to do it wrong. to dive in too deep, too fast, take a stance
and know she'd go right back to her prince.
i'm just the pea underneath the mattress of weapons
used to escape into a reality of ultimatums other than
the cliche of being one of those couples who are instantly
engaged right out of high school, city's away but no distance
can keep you two apart. even when in my arms, i can
now see clearly, it was him you thought of when
you bent forward, whispering in my ear, 'can't
forever stay like today?' i should have seen
in your pupil, his smirk taunting me behind the scene.
you were amazing for the summer but let's do the science,
we couldn't last longer than a fortnight for reason's
i can't describe (for i thought we'd never end) in analogies.
if you need me i'll be behind no frills were w/ no confidence
you did give to me a kiss so nice and refreshing
it could give Lipton ice tea a run for their advertising.