been so long since i heard the promise of anything other than the promise of tomorrow

this feels like unending retribution
tired old feeling of being on reruns.
however much i await for her return
it all always becomes so mundane.

every word i write is written for her;
in code or plain as day posed literature
I'm certain she is more than aware
of this truth- the certainty of my reality.

pain stricken memoirs for regrets
and remorse; i am so lost and confused
with no guidance- nobody left
to help me through this retrospect sight.

never knew that i was capable of
remembering the details properly.
drive off into the night sky horizon
only to arrive in a new day, in a new town.

these faces are strange but the way
they go about there lives; the day
is still the same as the yesterday
i left in my home town of yesteryear.

no matter how far i walk i shan't
get closer; no matter how much rant-
ing i accomplish while intoxication
has set in- i remain here, alone.

frozen smiles in photographs-
none in my wallet, just on a screen.
i still steer clear of phobia's
and all the places she could be.

love is just a way to make us think
one day we'll know salvation- blink
and you'll miss this exasperation
of emotion from my fading aspiration.

every breath i take i think is in vain
for she will never come back- distance
she shall remain; further between
her and my reunion than me and heaven.

twiddle my thumbs as i kill away time.
found a secret in the heart of a flame.
took her by the hand to show her compassion
but instead i fed her full of nothing;
except of course reasons for my remaining
around her life like a protective next of kin.