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Thursday, February 17, 2011

seeing her now makes me want to live; seeing her now makes me want to live.

sometimes life is just so great
it's hard not to smile without grit
in your eyes, your heart beat
just pacing up as your pulse heats
your blood to a level of content.

despite the shit that came and went
when i was in my youth, back then
wasn't aware it was my prime time-
that it could have been better than crime.

but it doesn't matter much to me
cause time is infinite and i'll be
here longer than i had original
expected; but wish i could be with her.

cause i got nothing, no one- no girl
to hold and cuddle on those nights i fear
i may finally cave in, give into
those voices that taunt me relentlessly.

when i smile at the guy in the mirror
a voice reminds me that today
is the day i should try to destroy
me; leave behind a beautifually
young corpse for the world to adore.

however on days when it just can't rain
i forget that i ever felt pain or disdain
for anything other than my own cripplin'
obsession with the mistakes i made slippin'
in my past; back in the day when i wasn't a man.

wasted time spent on trying hard to be me;
so many days gone away, never ever to return so
they are marks never going to be put in history
books- my fame will come from my twisted biography.

can behave when i want to, can ace it if i try to
put so many things held me back- these things i see
in my head- not understanding it's not true;
i'm not dead, in fact the opposite seem to be the
norm here- i got so much talent, i'm way to
gifted and talented so i ain't going no where.

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