if i could drive, then i could drive her to a happier place- a happier day

In a dream I stood still like a vampire.
Eternity danced around me like prey
to a zombie just attempting to get his.
So old, so wise, still I can't see
a reason to this life of ours.
Got an answer sitting patiently still
on the tip of my tongue but I fear
I'll never learn to dictate it properly.
Or will they not believe it was mine?
Those words I slur and speak in random?
This disease has gone too far, again
it has me beaten down to live on
my kneees; bruises cover my veins.
Do you feel that the answer is in
the bottom of a bottle? My darling
don't ever fret for me, if I'm breathing
then I'm fine; just leave me here, tonight
to dance along to the beat, the silent
sound of time humming along at our feet.
My coffin is bought, my coffin is right
for me- the perfect size the perfect
little grave for me, it's a sight
to see- next to a hill top side that
would resemble a diety resting point
in ancient times; nothing insync.
The troops ain't coming home alive;
this war inside my head isn't even.
It's one sided, hell first heaven;
devils dance on angels dreams- don't
think for a second I can't see them
scoffing there laughter as content
fills them with a happiness I shan't
ever understand, I'm positive of this
tragedy as I was sure this love of ours
ain't nothing but a fantasy I drew
up on paper, the schematics of which
ain't ever gonna add up past a which
hunt of epic proportions, they declare
I am satin reborn and I can't disagree
with this automative- I hope I'll die
a slow painful death, in time with life.
Lie, lie for me, darling, use your mouth
to form those words that speak the truth
you imagined; hopeless romance; the soft
velvet touch of a tainted youth.