i'd like to share a story; this is my story and can't nobody tell it for me

it stopped being fun the moment she caught on
to the fact that there are no treats with my
tainted tricks; just more disconcern for me
and my own well being; because this is my
own demise, my life, my choice to die
in a heartfelt box of failed romances.
Her kiss, tender and soft still couldn't
save me from the end I promised
myself I would have- that art felt
suicide of bad choices and drunken weekends.
got scars to prove i had more fun than you.
my eye lids are heavy now from sleep
due to the fact that since i met her
i haven't had a good nights sleep in eons.
this isn't a tragedy more like a melody
because a lullaby could be described
inside this obsession i have for her.
but could you stare into my soul
and promise me the truth you don't care?
i seen you lie, i've seen you cry
i've seen you promise and break those
constructed words of virtue
time & time & time again- for me.
all for me, you've blown off all the promises
you made to other boys as if i could save you
from the hell you live in- even though
you have a perfect poker face as you muster
through the days that come on and on.
weighting you down like cement shoes as you swim
in the tears you shed from broken hearted
teenage years of reclused failure.
if only i could try, try one more time.
would i, would i treat you and eternity the same?
i like to pretend that i would smile
more than frown but we both know i'm such a liar.
can't find happiness even at a circus show.
thoes clowns, those pathatic painted faces
do nothing to erouse curiosity inside my travesty.
this time, this time, i know, i know
what it is i am and what i'm meant to be-
a failure to any girl who ever believes in me.